Independence
What's up you crazy animals? Listen up, for some reason, I don't know why, but my neck is killing me today. I didn't sleep on it wrong or anything, but it might be a weird pinched nerve or something that happened when I went on my run today. Anyway, no one cares because I can still write my blog, and that's all anyone cares about. So, let's get to that why don't we?
I want to talk about Independence. Not from the British, but from your immediate family. Leaving home for college, for example. Getting an apartment and having to live without the need to tell your parents where you're going or what you're doing. Things like that. I've always thought of myself as independent. I could always cook my own meals, buy my own groceries, and I had a job.
I've also never liked having someone to help me with things. I wanted things done my way, and I didn't need help doing it. My grandma once told me that when I was really young (maybe 4-7) I always looked mad. I always had a face like I was upset about something. I asked her why I was so angry, and she said she thought I just didn't enjoy being a little kid. And I agree completely. God, did I hate being a kid. I mean, the kid stuff is fun, but you can't do anything. If you want some ice cream from the store you have to ask someone to take you there, and if they said no then you weren't getting ice cream because you couldn't drive. If you went to the store with a parent and you wanted ice cream you had to ask them to pay for it because you have no money. If they said no, then you weren't getting it.
You're powerless as a child, and nobody takes you seriously. I like to joke around a lot, but when I'm trying to be serious I get very mad when someone doesn't think I'm being serious. Drives me crazy. As far back as I can remember, I couldn't wait to be in my thirties or forties. You're an adult, you have money, and you have respect. It's the life, and I still can't wait for that age to happen. It'll be great. I know it's weird, but with my need of respect and authority, I taught myself at an early age how to "look" as professional as I could. I like dressing nice (one of my biggest accomplishments in life was a few months ago when I bought my first suit), I enjoy very thoughtful conversation about deep topics, and I like yelling at the young people and all their loud antics. That last one gets me a lot of beef since most of the people I complain about are my age. Can't stand people my own age.
Growing up, I made notes of the milestone ages, like most people do. Sixteen- I can drive now. And, for me, that meant that now, whenever I want, I can go out with my friends and get food or something (as long as I had my parent's permission), eighteen- time to leave the nest. Finally, my chance to test out if I could live on my own (even though I had roommates and the meals on campus were already paid for by my parents), and twenty-one is the last for a while- I can go to a bar, or just buy myself a six-pack of beer legally. So great. But, all except the last one really, I was still somewhat underneath that umbrella of my parent's.
In college, you do have a ton of freedom. When I first got there I remember thinking, "Wow, if I wanted to just get in my car and drive to Texas for the week.. I could just go." That was a big deal for me. Then, after I left school I got my first apartment with a friend of mine. Now we're getting somewhere. My own place, that I take care of, and I have to pay for it on my own. That's one thing I will forever thank my parent's for doing. It's a big deal when you have to pay for things on my own. If my parent's paid my rent I would not have lived in that tiny two-bedroom. I also paid for my gas and groceries. It teaches a good lesson of what life is like when you're fully on your own. Not wasting money on stupid things you don't need, and planning out how to save money for the fun stuff. Take note any parent's watching: Make your kids pay for their own shit. Tell them to get a job and work for that concert that would kill them if they didn't go.
I've still got roommates. Not on my own yet, but I can't wait for that day. I enjoy being on my own; because I know I can function that way. I trust that I've learned the responsibility and frugality to live by myself. And, it's not like I never see my parent's even though I live in another town. I rarely go home, but that's because I'm a busy person, but also, I don't need to go home for anything. If I need to get something done, I'll find a way to get it done where I am. I still call home all the time, of course. I still have a family. Sometimes, if I do tell them something like I need to get my car fixed, my dad will offer to have someone fix it, and fill it up with gas, AND he wants to pay for it. I'm not going to turn that sweet offer away. Who would, and it gives me excuse to go home and see everyone.
My biggest fear, right now, is having to give up and move back home. For the family reading, sorry, but it's true. I'm trying to make it on my own, and that would be throwing in the towel. I'm fairly certain that I'd live in my car before making that move back home. Because that would be too comfortable. I may never want to leave. Living in my car is a struggle, and struggle leads to great moments in history. I want those moments, but I'm trying to get there before the struggle. I won't run from the struggle, if it comes. I will fall into it readily because that's how I am. I know how to work with struggle. I was a kid with no money or respect once.
I think I've said enough for now. I may come back to this topic if anyone wants me to, but for now I'll end it. Tell me what you think about this post, and I'll see you all tomorrow. Buh-bye.
FUN FACT: My hatred from being a child is so strong that once at my old job, I was in a circle collecting gun parts with a bunch of guys. One guys was very talkative, and he was asking people's names. When he got to me, he said, "What about you, kid? What's your name?" That was the biggest insult I've ever been given. Being called a 'kid' is the worst for me. I grow this beard for a reason!
I want to talk about Independence. Not from the British, but from your immediate family. Leaving home for college, for example. Getting an apartment and having to live without the need to tell your parents where you're going or what you're doing. Things like that. I've always thought of myself as independent. I could always cook my own meals, buy my own groceries, and I had a job.
I've also never liked having someone to help me with things. I wanted things done my way, and I didn't need help doing it. My grandma once told me that when I was really young (maybe 4-7) I always looked mad. I always had a face like I was upset about something. I asked her why I was so angry, and she said she thought I just didn't enjoy being a little kid. And I agree completely. God, did I hate being a kid. I mean, the kid stuff is fun, but you can't do anything. If you want some ice cream from the store you have to ask someone to take you there, and if they said no then you weren't getting ice cream because you couldn't drive. If you went to the store with a parent and you wanted ice cream you had to ask them to pay for it because you have no money. If they said no, then you weren't getting it.
You're powerless as a child, and nobody takes you seriously. I like to joke around a lot, but when I'm trying to be serious I get very mad when someone doesn't think I'm being serious. Drives me crazy. As far back as I can remember, I couldn't wait to be in my thirties or forties. You're an adult, you have money, and you have respect. It's the life, and I still can't wait for that age to happen. It'll be great. I know it's weird, but with my need of respect and authority, I taught myself at an early age how to "look" as professional as I could. I like dressing nice (one of my biggest accomplishments in life was a few months ago when I bought my first suit), I enjoy very thoughtful conversation about deep topics, and I like yelling at the young people and all their loud antics. That last one gets me a lot of beef since most of the people I complain about are my age. Can't stand people my own age.
Growing up, I made notes of the milestone ages, like most people do. Sixteen- I can drive now. And, for me, that meant that now, whenever I want, I can go out with my friends and get food or something (as long as I had my parent's permission), eighteen- time to leave the nest. Finally, my chance to test out if I could live on my own (even though I had roommates and the meals on campus were already paid for by my parents), and twenty-one is the last for a while- I can go to a bar, or just buy myself a six-pack of beer legally. So great. But, all except the last one really, I was still somewhat underneath that umbrella of my parent's.
In college, you do have a ton of freedom. When I first got there I remember thinking, "Wow, if I wanted to just get in my car and drive to Texas for the week.. I could just go." That was a big deal for me. Then, after I left school I got my first apartment with a friend of mine. Now we're getting somewhere. My own place, that I take care of, and I have to pay for it on my own. That's one thing I will forever thank my parent's for doing. It's a big deal when you have to pay for things on my own. If my parent's paid my rent I would not have lived in that tiny two-bedroom. I also paid for my gas and groceries. It teaches a good lesson of what life is like when you're fully on your own. Not wasting money on stupid things you don't need, and planning out how to save money for the fun stuff. Take note any parent's watching: Make your kids pay for their own shit. Tell them to get a job and work for that concert that would kill them if they didn't go.
I've still got roommates. Not on my own yet, but I can't wait for that day. I enjoy being on my own; because I know I can function that way. I trust that I've learned the responsibility and frugality to live by myself. And, it's not like I never see my parent's even though I live in another town. I rarely go home, but that's because I'm a busy person, but also, I don't need to go home for anything. If I need to get something done, I'll find a way to get it done where I am. I still call home all the time, of course. I still have a family. Sometimes, if I do tell them something like I need to get my car fixed, my dad will offer to have someone fix it, and fill it up with gas, AND he wants to pay for it. I'm not going to turn that sweet offer away. Who would, and it gives me excuse to go home and see everyone.
My biggest fear, right now, is having to give up and move back home. For the family reading, sorry, but it's true. I'm trying to make it on my own, and that would be throwing in the towel. I'm fairly certain that I'd live in my car before making that move back home. Because that would be too comfortable. I may never want to leave. Living in my car is a struggle, and struggle leads to great moments in history. I want those moments, but I'm trying to get there before the struggle. I won't run from the struggle, if it comes. I will fall into it readily because that's how I am. I know how to work with struggle. I was a kid with no money or respect once.
I think I've said enough for now. I may come back to this topic if anyone wants me to, but for now I'll end it. Tell me what you think about this post, and I'll see you all tomorrow. Buh-bye.
FUN FACT: My hatred from being a child is so strong that once at my old job, I was in a circle collecting gun parts with a bunch of guys. One guys was very talkative, and he was asking people's names. When he got to me, he said, "What about you, kid? What's your name?" That was the biggest insult I've ever been given. Being called a 'kid' is the worst for me. I grow this beard for a reason!
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